*Starting
the log for September today. Let us call this the "month of the long
sit" - or at least that will be our intention for it as of now.
Status
report:
*No
progress on OOBE
*Subdued
aridity element from cumulative meditation, not boredom however
*No
bliss, joy, or energy from meditation still
*No
lucidity during sleep
Goals:
*OOBE
*Experience
of powerful energy
*Nondual
state of consciousness
Reflection:
*No
results from our cumulative daily practice (2 hours piecemeal per day).
*No
results from our 24/7 "still the mind" practice.
Experiment:
*Attempt
a long sit (1 hour + daily).
*Realistically
this may be hard to do! But let us try to build toward it as well as possible.
*If
we can breach 90 minutes or 2 hours - better.
*I
am debating - is it worthwhile to carry on the 2 hour cumulative practice...?
Notes:
*I
recall Mike Raduga or one of the OOB writers saying they developed lucidity
during sleep. So, lucidity may be a product of OOBEs - not meditation. Need to
figure out a workable OOB method!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8.28 Day 13
*21
mins - Intended this to be a 2 hour sit but stopped. Very tired from the
workday. Very stressful to stay still. I think realistically on workdays this
will be standard (the first sit bordering falling asleep / napping / being
stressful). I also think the 2 hour goal is ambitious. Let's stop for now and
try again in the evening - our goal will be 60-90 mins instead.
*Feeling
some vibrations (subtle). I know we are discouraged but we should not stop the
2 hour cumulative practice - even if we fail at the long sits. Try anyway and
see what happens. Each week something has happened. Week 1 - felt vibrations.
Week 2 - felt peacefulness. Keep up the practice!
*I
have so much knowledge of spiritual things... how can I have been stuck for so
long? What is the issue?
*44
mins - OK. An hour + be damned. Got very tough at some points. A relatively
long sit though. Absolutely no results to speak of. Some tingling - otherwise a
normal state of consciousness. Mind wandered. Did a couple experiments for
intervals - one at silencing the mind, another at visualizing (a la Buhlman).
No results.
*Feeling
some vibrations. Carry on with the 2 hour cumulative practice for at least one
month. Carry on with the 24/7 self-enquiry practice.
*51
mins - nothing to report
*4
mins - reaching 2 hrs
= 2
hrs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8.29 Day 14
*11
min - mind wandering; bored; planning for work
*really
not inclined to meditate. it has been fruitless / pointless so far. why am I
doing it?
*feel
a little bit of vibrations. nothing special though, still.
*7
mins - bordering sleep (tired from work day)
*3
mins
*self-enquiry
continues... still to no results. the nondual state gary refers to seems
similar to the "contemplation" stage described by underhill.
*underhill
writes contemplation is "given" rather than "attained."
hmm. keep on carrying on.
*Should
I bother with piecemeal sits?? or do only long ones matter??
*Jeff
says not to use music... but if the goal is to breach 1 hr (the first hour
nothing seems to happen) and then induce sleep paralysis, music would help with
prolonging.
*Rereading
some posts by Phase Evolution. He says to practice micro-sleeps... more easily
said than done. I'm just supposed to doze off repeatedly over and over again
and use alarms to keep waking myself up? I can't fall asleep that easily...
*Reading
Bob Peterson's suggestion to use the subconscious to induce OOBEs. Like another
OOB writer I read months ago, he also says to read books / content on the OOBE
throughout the day to get the subconscious to pull you out. I think I had a
spontaneous "proto" OOBE back in April? but didn't know what to do
with it at the time. I should try again, consuming OOB literature.
*He
also recommends pre-sleep affirmations.
*Let's
do a long sit tonight...
*Early
PM note - feeling peaceful (?)
*Feeling
very tempted to stop the 2 hour cumulative practice today. The lack of results
being the main cause. There is also the temptation to "do it all in one
big sit" but being able to succeed at those is quite challenging.
*19
mins - relatively peaceful; having trouble prolonging
*1
min
*11
min - with music; hard to prolong though
*9
mins - with music; mind wandering
*1
hr - experimented with (1) still mind / self-enquiry; (2) buhlman's
"target" technique (visualize the kitchen, feel the chair, imagine
touching the door, etc); (3) Jeff's suggestion to focus on the feeling of
vibrations to intensify them (I did so with the feet - no results). Had a
little hypnagogia and some extremely mild vibrations in the feet. The sit got
very hard to maintain the last 10 minutes. No results.
= 2
hrs 1 min
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8.30 Day 15
*1
hr 27 mins - Wanted to reach 2 hours. Got tough! No results - some hypnagogia,
mild vibrations.
*1
min - debating the value of short sits / cumulative time, and I don't really
want to do another long sit tonight.
*3
min - pretty late in the evening; tired now.
*3
min - tired and restless at the same time; rough.
*Won't
be able to do 2 hours today - too tired after the workday.
=
1 hr 34 mins
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8.31 Day 16
*25
mins - Mind is active, wants to do stuff; got hard to sustain; no effects
*2
mins - distracted; losing interest in doing cumulative time now...
*1
min - This might be it for the cumulative plan. I already messed it up
yesterday (I thought I could manage a 2 hour sit so I started too late). Work
also contributed to the level of fatigue we felt. Today, I have other
distractions. Jeff seems to dismiss the value of short sits regardless. Perhaps
the new goal should be one long sit per day. (Going to stop counting the days
now, I suppose...) Disappointing our "30 days" was a failure,
however.
=
28 mins
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.2
*I
would like to get back into our routine. On reflection (after over 2 weeks of
consistency), I am leaning towards the idea the piecemeal sits are of no value.
Getting back to Rougeleader's post that began all this, the energy he describes
seems to be similar to the "vibrational state" discussed by figures
like William Buhlman or Robert Monroe. I have been able to get some vibrations, but never a full-on
state of it. They describe is as being very simply accessed through relaxation
and long periods of motionlessness. So, I think we should drop the 2 hour
cumulative goal, and instead focus on having one long sit (1 hr+ per day). If
we can do that consistently for a month, we can increase it to two long sits (1
hr+ or one 2 hr sit) per day.
*25
mins - Intended as a long sit - many distractions mentally caused us to stop.
*1
hr - OK, one long sit for the day down. Nothing to report. I have noticed that
the "annoyed, complaining voice" I had when I began this practice has
diminished. It was not really present for this sit through most of it. At the
same time, the voice that is "bored" and says "nothing is
happening" is still there, and unfortunately I have to agree with it
because it's right and nothing has ever resulted from our sits.
*I
do feel that with these long sits it is good to use the bathroom, finish your
day's "to do" list, bathe, and quiet the room before beginning. When
I do all this and have the right "set and setting" it does make the
long sits doable. That said, the last 5 minutes of the sit I did start to
rankle, complain, and get very negative. Became very hard to continue.
*If
we feel like it we can do one more 1 hr+ sit later (this evening?), and see
what happens.
*Thoughts
on OOBE: It is clear the OOBE is intended (again speaking teleologically here)
to be an extremely rare experience, difficult to access once never mind
reliably. I don't know if Jeff would agree but it seems like something mostly
intended for the after death state. Out of the billions of people on the earth,
it is rare enough an experience to be popularly dismissed as nonsense /
delusional. Well, we will keep working persistently - one attempt a day at
least - and see if we can access it!
*23
mins - Snoozing; close to sleep. Intended a 1 hr sit but stopped.
*20
mins - Some tingles; no vibrational state though; can't amplify them by
bringing attention to them either.
= 2
h 8 mins
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.3
*1
h 35 mins - Long sit. Sort of moved twice - smirked at one point when I thought
of something funny, and jumped up a bit when the phone rang next to me at 1 h.
Only annoyed by that as I intended to reach 2 hrs. Other than that, completely
motionless. Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing to report. No
vibrations, energy, altered states, etc. I am thinking about the practice of
keeping the limbs / body as still as possible throughout the day (I was getting
vibrations from doing that a month or two ago...). I guess I will keep trying
with one long sit a day, as well. Not sure what else to do.
=
1 hr 25 min
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.4
*2
hrs - Our longest sit to date. Unfortunately, nothing to report - a continuity
of the normal state of consciousness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.5
*2
hrs - Long sit; nothing to report
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.6
*24
min - tired; started the sit at 8 PM - guess at this time the body / mind are
too fatigued
*42
min - second attempt; somewhat stronger after resting a bit, but had to stop as
well due to fatigue; having some negative thoughts and difficulty sustaining
=1
h 6 min
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.7
*2
hrs - Long sit; nothing to report
*8
mins - sleepy
=2
h 8 mins
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.8
*1
hr 36 mins - Nothing to report. Intended it to reach 2 hours - but I started
right on awakening (no bathroom, shower, or coffee). Got agitated.
*11
mins - Thinking about stuff I'm trying to do today; distracted.
=
1 hr 47 mins
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.9
*23
mins - Phone interrupted us; trying to fit this into a busy schedule - getting
really annoying and difficult to do so for a fruitless practice.
*24
mins - Getting too distracted by negative and busybody thoughts. Thoughts
getting a little gloomy; reflecting negatively on life, etc.
*The
two above were immediate post work sits; may simply just not want to do these -
not in the right place mentally before having some leisure time.
*Had
a post work meeting today, so this is later in the afternoon than usual; plus I
have other obligations this afternoon. I should likely just postpone our sit
till the relatively late evening, though I may be unable to sit then due to
fatigue / tiredness.
*51
min - mind wandering; distracted; bored; no results
= 1
h 38 mins
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.10
*11
min - AM sit on a workday; very distracted; suddenly have a lot of obligations
on my plate this month
*2
min - tried to sit at work; eyes drying out; distracted by set and setting
*16
min - started sit at 9 PM; too late; too fatigued
=
29 min - failing at the long sit plan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.11
*8
min - short AM sit; distracted
*39
min - attempt began at 8 PM; was tired; also seem to have a virus
(distracting); no results as usual
=
47 mins - want to get to October and can get back to 2 hrs / day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.12
Sick
today; not practicing. Let's try to get back to 2 hours / day tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.13
Lots
of phlegm and coughing; will try to return to 2 hrs / day tomorrow (assuming
we're recovered).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.14
Sick
with fever, severe headache, phlegm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.15
Better
by tomorrow perhaps - post-nasal drip, coughing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.16
*1
h 20 - Some mouth breathing, phlegm, coughing, and a full bladder disrupting
us. Some mind wandering - negativity from the work day. Felt some modest
vibrations - no results. Brief experiment with visualization of the kitchen
(William Buhlman method). Try to meditate again for 2 hrs tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.17
27
min - sleepy, phlegmy, headache, hungry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.18
40
min - sleepy, phlegmy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.19
27
min - still relatively ill; very fatigued (sleepy) post-work sit
Going
to resume WBTB (interrupting sleep) tonight
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.20
34
min - falling asleep; still phlegmy from illness. there is an extremely limited
window for us to meditate in on workdays: we can't meditate pre-work (not
enough time), during work (obviously), or directly after work (fall asleep). we
also have to do it early enough in the evening before we get too tired (so basically
between 6-8 PM is the best time it seems). this also isn't always possible to
do when we have work on the computer to get done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.27
30
min - falling asleep. Mostly recovered from our sickness; will get back to
schedule soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WBTB
9.19
No memory of our alarm / attempt
9.20
Recall being irritated / did recall a dream this night (interrupts usually
improve recall)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WBTB - 2 AM attempt (moving to couch,
using William Buhlman's visualization method)
9.27
No results
9.28
No results
9.29
Attempted without moving to couch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dreams
8.29
2 recalled (had a lot more though that I forgot)
8.30
0
8.31
5 (didn't disrupt my sleep to write; but remembered a decent number on getting
up)
9.2
2; memory of them came later in the morning; questioned the logic of one but it
didn't produce lucidity
9.5
I forgot ~3 of them (didn't write them)
9.6
12 recalled
9.7
3 recalled
9.9
1 dream
9.10
1 recalled
9.11
0; recalled 2 at first but snoozed and didn't write them
9.12
7 recalled
9.13
1 recalled
9.14
2 recalled
9.15
1 recalled
9.16
3
9.17
2
9.21
1
9.25
4
9.26
1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reality Checks
8.29
2 today - "am I dreaming?"
8.30
1 today - "am I dreaming?"
8.31
2 "am I dreaming?"
9.2
3x - "am I dreaming?"
9.3
1x - "am I dreaming?"
9.7
1x - "am I dreaming?"
9.8
"Am I dreaming?" and look at my palms - 1x
9.12
Asking "am I dreaming?" and looking at palms
9.13
Asking "am I dreaming?" and looking at palms
9.16
asking "am I dreaming?" and looking at palms
9.20
still asking and looking at palms
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indirect Method
9.5
Stated "I'm awake" but I was very late and had been moving at length.
Practiced with a couple techniques regardless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Subconscious Mind Method
Read
an OOB account, book, etc during the day and make an affirmation before
sleeping.
8.29
Read a little Bob Peterson and Phase Evolution.
8.30
Briefly read a few posts on "Astral Pulse." (Specifically on the
"breath stopping" experience.)
*I
may not see results unless I can spend 2-3 hours reading. When I had that one
"spontaneous" exit I think I was reading large portions of Journeys Out of the Body that day.
8.31
Reading some of William Buhlman's first book. He notes how he had to keep his
first OOBE to himself, as people just couldn't understand. It is interesting
how he naturally comes to "esotericism." Not esotericism in the sense
of hiding anything - but just of necessity only discussing these things with
people who can understand or are looking for them. It is fascinating the irony
here when I think of other people I admire, like James Randi. The skeptic's
view normally makes complete sense - it is just fascinating how once one
encounters this "other" world, everything must be swept away!
9.2
Reading a little of Buhlman's Secret of
the Soul - the accounts of the departed visiting us in dreams (the first
couple days after dying before moving on). Yes, this affirms a lot of ideas I
had before. I feel that it is such a fascinating and efficient design we have
to the world. The dead can visit us in our dreams, and through this window the
experience can be interpreted in so many different ways (real, illusory,
forgotten, and so forth).
9.3
Read some of Secret of the Soul.
9.7
Posted on Jeff's forum and read a bit of Buhlman's book - specifically the part
when the blind are able to see and the crippled move while OOB! It gets me
thinking about dementia (which I was reflecting on earlier). Is dementia a
foreshadowing of the forgetting of the Lethe (from rebirth) or is it a physical
change that would be undone when OOB?
