In the beginning, when the universe was still very young, the gods went to Shiva and told him it was time to create the physical world.
“Now is the time,” said the gods. “Look at the marvels we have made already. Look at the heavens and the wonders of our realm. Now it is time to create a new plane, one of matter, ordered by our divine principles.”
The gods insisted that Shiva, because he was so wise, be the god who brought this world into being.
Before the other devas, Shiva agreed, swearing to become the god of creation; but, when the other gods went away from him, he became very sad. And, rather than begin work to create the physical world immediately, he delayed.
“If the physical world is brought into being,” thought Shiva, “the beings there will suffer greatly. Those who seek knowledge will find only ignorance; those who seek life will find only death; those who seek health will find only sickness. These will be the inevitabilities of all who live there.
“If the physical world is brought into being,” Shiva continued to ponder, “the beings there will go hungry; they will lack nutrition; they will live in poverty. They will find some security, then watch it slip away. They will watch friends and loved ones die. They will find themselves in war, perishing over greed and falsehood. They will experience tragedies, seeing their bodies become injured, deformed, and maimed.
“The beings there will seek peace but find only discord,” Shiva thought. “They will seek beauty but find only ugliness; they will seek sexual union but find only frustration. The beings there will drown, fall, and be split open; they will have their lungs pierced and struggle to breathe; they will have their genitals mutilated; they will become blind and deaf. The beings there will seek their own security, and in the process spread yet more evil and ignorance to their kin.”
For Shiva, who was greatly compassionate, these problems reverberated in his mind above all else. Shiva realized that he could not remain a just god if he brought such a world into existence.
“The gods do not know what they ask of me,” Shiva concluded. “They ask me to create great evil and injustice.”
Shiva thus began to ponder how to create the physical world without also creating evil.
Finally, the gods grew impatient, and came to Shiva again.
“Why do you delay, Lord Shiva?” they asked. “Why have you not brought the physical world into existence?”
“The physical world you seek will be a place of great injustice,” said Shiva. “How will the antelope find water when there is a drought?” he asked the gods. “How will the farmer find food when the sky becomes black? How will the infant find security when her parents are slain in war?”
All the gods, not understanding evil, seemed to not hear Shiva, except for Lord Vishnu.
“It will be a place of evil,” said Vishnu, “but by it the beings there will achieve greatness.”
Lord Shiva, not satisfied, continued.
“I have not been idle,” said Shiva, “but hard at work. During my delay, I have been seeking a solution to the problem of the physical world.”
After much debate, Shiva at last persuaded the other gods of his cause. They agreed they should not create the world until Shiva had found a solution to the problem of evil.
“Only a fool would bring such a world into existence,” concluded Shiva. “Thus, we shall delay until we can create a world without evil.”
At this, the gods adjourned.
Shiva, now with the aid of Vishnu, continued in his work to find a solution to evil.
But, one of the gods did not agree with the others. He grew impatient, like the others had before, and sought to begin creation immediately. It was Brahma, the god of the four winds.
“What marvels have we made!” said Brahma. “Look at the wonders of the firmament! The deva heavens! The great and fiery lotus of the gods! We must spread our gift of creation to all!”
Though a god, Brahma was fickle like the four winds, and did not consider the consequences of what he did.
At his word, Brahma began the process of creation. He brought into existence the planets, space, and destructive time; the places of ice and fire; the oceans; the continents. He spawned the first creatures out of him: the plants, animals, and the first humans.
Brahma looked at his creation and marveled at it. Indeed, he had crafted a world of beauty. So proud was he of his work that he summoned the other devas to him, wanting to show them what he had done.
“Look at my world of beauty!” said Brahma. “I have created a world of blue, brown, and green! I have created the mountains, the rivers, and the plains; and a vast multitude of living beings to inhabit them!”
When the other gods saw what Brahma had done, they were moved by the beauty of his work. But, they were also greatly concerned. All of the gods, especially Vishnu, had agreed with Shiva not to bring the world into being without first finding a solution to evil.
At last, Shiva arrived with the others, and saw what Brahma had done. When Shiva saw that Brahma had created the world in his impatience, he was filled with wrath.
“Fool!” said Lord Shiva. “You do not know what you have done! And by this you have created evil, suffering, and death! By your impatience you have doomed all you have made!”
The other gods, fearful of Shiva, retreated as his full wrath was brought upon Brahma.
“For this I curse you!” said Shiva. “You who created the pain of childbirth, who created mutilation and disease! No temples shall be built to you, no worshipers shall revere you! Though you be the god of creation, none will know you, and none will honor your name!”
This was the greatest curse to befall an immortal god. No one would ever honor Brahma for the work he had done. No one.
“You have done a great disservice to your creation,” said Vishnu, who appeared beside Shiva. “Though you gave them life, they will suffer and live short lives. They will seek happiness and find only despair. They will never know the true peace of our existence, the joy and security of the gods.”
Shiva retreated to Kailash, filled with rage and ferocity. All of his work had been undone. There could be no just world now due to Brahma. Then, as ever after, foolishness had been the greatest source of injustice.
“This world cannot stand,” thought Shiva, “this world of old age, hunger, sickness, poverty, and death. I cannot allow these poor beings to suffer.
“How can I make this world just?” thought Shiva. “This world of extremes, this radical world Brahma has created?” It seemed impossible.
At last, Shiva was inspired. If the world could not be made just, he would at least make sure the beings there would not be trapped.
“By his act of creation, Brahma has enslaved all to the physical,” said Shiva. “All those born in this world will know only the ideas of form and matter. Fettered to them and not to the spirit, they will suffer, life after life.
“But,” thought Shiva, “There is an answer. This world can be made just.
“I will create a hidden path, a way by which mortal man can achieve the true goods that he most desires in his heart to possess.”
It is then when Shiva devised occult knowledge, Yoga, and the noble path to salvation. Taking on a disguise, Shiva descended to the earth, distributing his secret gifts to the first men.
The saints came to Shiva, and he taught them and the first mystics the path to moksha.
When Shiva returned to the deva world, Vishnu was pleased.
“You have given them the greatest gift of all,” said Vishnu. “The gift to join our ranks, to ascend to the deva heavens. As mortals they will suffer and die, but by this they will become great, and with us drink the nectar of amrita.”
Shiva raised his hand, and gestured the abhaya mudra. To all who accepted the noble call, to all who were shrewd and walked the hidden path, to all who fought bravely and lived greatly, there was nothing to fear. By this path, there was justice in the evil world.
Saturday, October 17, 2020
The Parable of Creation
Sunday, October 4, 2020
Dialogue - What are some strange experiences you’ve had along your spiritual journey?
A questioner wrote:
What are some strange experiences you’ve had along your spiritual journey?
Alexander wrote:
I have had a number of strange ones over the years. There was a time when having these experiences was very meaningful to me, and constituted a kind of “proof” that I was making progress on the spiritual quest. In the east they do say that saints and yogis are supposed to manifest “siddhis” or “signs” of spiritual attainment. These days they are not something I worry too much about. I definitely rest in a world of “knowledge” now, so all the stresses do not bother me anymore. It may be that across your journey you will have these strange experiences; you may also have none. Whether you interpret them as “siddhis” or just odd events, though, is up to you.
I have gone through some of my entries I made over the years and it looks like this is a decent list of them:
1. Intuition – An intrusive line of thoughts, or an inner “push” or feeling that seems to come from a higher source. For example, it may manifest as a premonition of a future event, or you may feel a push to do something or not do something to act in conformity with your higher self.
2. Spiritual tears – Likely connected to the opening of the heart chakra, this is the “joy-making mourning” referred to by ascetic writers. Spiritual seekers will experience this sourceless crying, which we might interpret as causing an alchemical change in the body.
3. A warmth or heat in the chest – Likely a product of the opening of the heart chakra, it manifests as a definite sensation in the heart.
4. A sensation in the right abdomen, just below the ribs – I went to the doctor to investigate this; it was a strange one. The pain would not go away. The doctor was not able to diagnose it as anything – his best guess was an inflammation of the cartilage. It was not for some time till I realized the small, circular area the sensation was coming from was the location of the injury of Longinus. Whether that is a coincidence or a kindly sign is up to others to decide.
5. Vibrations in the hands and feet – These are the same vibrations many feel when they are going out-of-body. It is an interesting coincidence that these manifest most palpably in the places where the “holy wounds” of Christ were located. It shows what a fascinating, fateful universe we live in.
6. Invocation of a spiritual master – Concentrated attention for a long period time on a particular figure, like a guru, may call that teacher to be in your presence. This may be felt as a strong intuitive sense that they are there with you.
7. Out-of-body experiences – I have had some unimpressive OOBEs, where I have felt my awareness separate from my body, but I’ve been blind and brought quickly back into the physical again.
What I will do is give you the logs I made of some of these experiences at the time, as my original reactions to them may be useful to you.
Here is the one I wrote when I felt I had invoked the presence of Gurdjieff:
I wanted to make a record of this experience because I think it was an extraordinary one.
To start off, in occult books, a lot of importance is put into the idea of "invocation." Often, there is a fascination with people "summoning demons." As though summoning a demon could ever be a useful action.
Invocation, however, is not something unique to the occult. In different religions, invocations are made to gods, saints, and spiritual masters. Actually, every time you hear someone who hits his foot yell "Jesus Christ!" that is an invocation to Christ. (Of course, an exclamation like this could never invoke Christ.)
About two years ago I had an experience in this area, which has taken me a large amount of time to understand.
What occurred? Well, to explain first requires some context. As I have explained to Jhanananda and mapeli here, for many years I was a student of G. I. Gurdjieff. He was someone I dedicated a large amount of study to, and who I learned a lot from his teachings.
At one point I came to subject everything in my experience to the judgment of Gurdjieff. What would he think of X? How should I do Y in reference to him? It is important to understand this, because he occupied a large amount of space in my thoughts.
Now, how does an invocation work? How would it be possible to invoke Christ, Shiva, etc? Well, it is an exercise of the mind, and of the whole personality. Fixation is needed. One has to very seriously dedicate one's thoughts to a guru, saint, etc.
People imagine invocation in the stereotype of a pentagram drawn on the floor. They imagine a ceremony with different objects. In Christianity, people imagine the physical re-enactment of the Last Supper as being essential for the presence of Christ.
But, all of the outward show is just that. The adornments are not anything in themselves. What these objects do is simply give a context for a person. It is the person himself who invokes the guru, saint, or deva.
So, what occurred? Well, one day I was just sitting, going about my business as usual. I was engaged in study of Gurdjieff. Then, suddenly, I became aware of the "presence" of G. I. Gurdjieff.
It was a floaty experience. It was like he was there, but not there. It was like he was above me, over my shoulder, looking at me - though I could not see him back. It was unsettling. It was out of the ordinary.
In my imagination I slowly came to have different images emerge. These made the presence of Gurdjieff into a more concrete experience. His "presence" remained for a few minutes. Then, the "presence" went away.
I would like to conclude that it is essential to understand experiences like this in the context of doubt. I saw nothing. Remember, the experience was of a "presence." There could be nothing more flighty. Finally, the associative flow of images was not anything special. They cannot be made distinct from imagination. So, even if this particular experience was veritable, experiences like this always end up in a mixture with imagination. (Invocation of a Spiritual Master)
Here is one of my first entries where I refer to intuition:
Has anyone had experiences of intuition, where an (arguably) intrusive line of thoughts enters your head, just before X experience happens?
I've had several of these which has convinced me it's not just my imagination. Not that it's something I want to go around telling people about, either. But a few of the intuitions seemed to have confirmed that they were real, for example:
- One experience about a year ago, late in the evening, I get into my head one of my friends from school, who I had not talked to in years. This is at about 1 o'clock in the morning. I get a weird intimation then to check my phone... and find I had just received a conciliatory message from her.
I had a similar experience a couple months ago:
- Again, I have a line of thoughts about one of my friends (actually in regard to something in particular we're both a part of), and when I go to check my email about 10 minutes after, I find a message from that friend along with a reference to the same subject that I had had in mind. Right when I was having the intuition, was about when he had sent the email.
Interesting is that these were two people I had (and still have) close emotional connections with. Though I can't say if that emotional connection is important or not to having intuitions. What seems key about the experience, though, is that an intuition is noticeably different in quality from an ordinary line of thoughts, i.e., it isn't something you would have been thinking about on your own. I can't manipulate or produce these experiences when I want them, but they just seem to come now and then and are (probably?) tied to events of personal importance. (Intuition)
And here is a final entry I wrote where I talk about spiritual tears:
One phenomenon I have found that is explored in the Western tradition, but not the Eastern, is that of mystic crying or mourning.
In the writings of the hesychasts, Margery Kempe, John of the Cross, John Climacus, and others, there is an expression of a period during which one undergoes sobbing from no apparent cause.
Often, this experience accompanies an introversion into oneself. As one learns more about one's past experiences, these memories become painful and cause suffering.
However, while this sobbing is very sad, the consequences of it are positive. One effect is it leads to a significant humanizing of the individual. Another effect is it leads to a re-evaluation of all one's values and ideas.
There are two interesting points we can mention about these mystic tears:
First, they appear to accompany the "opening of the heart" as referred to in hesychasm. In the East, this is called the opening of the heart chakra. Either case represents our accessing the seat of our superior emotions, which for the ordinary person are inaccessible. By accessing them, we have reached an intermediate stage of spiritual development.
Second, some argue that the crying itself is an expression of a chemical (or alchemical) change that is going on in the body. This argument helps explain why the crying sometimes just happens, with no particular cause. According to this view, sobbing facilitates the "transmutation" or transfiguration of the body. (Opening the Spiritual Heart)
I hope these were helpful to share with you!
Dialogue - What do you think of the Tarot?
A questioner wrote:
What do you think of the Tarot?
Alexander wrote:
I like the Tarot very much. It certainly doesn’t have the long history we like to mythologize it does – it more likely dates back to the 1800s as divination cards – but the set devised by A. E. Waite is excellent and provides a lot of possibilities for obtaining self-knowledge.
That also is how I see the use of the cards: for the purpose of “gnothi seauton,” to know thyself, as the Oracle of Delphi put it. The cards are not supposed to tell the future, but the symbols on them can be read by a reflective mind and used to gain wisdom and insight into what is currently going on in your life.
You should only do a reading very rarely; have a purposeful and clear intent; and accept whatever drawing you receive. I had one recently which I wanted to share, as I thought it was very meaningful to me.
What do see yourself as: The Magician
Absolutely. For anyone who knows my true self and interests, this card alone is a fascinating one to draw first. That is a one in 22 chance of happening.
What you most desire: The Hierophant
I interpreted this as a symbol for guidance and structure; that I was looking for direction. This past year has certainly been a crossroads in my life, a time of great disruption, and I am certainly looking for direction on what path to follow next.
The Hierophant can represent a guide; a figure who has great spiritual attainment; or also, potentially, a fraud (like many so-called religious people often are).
Another way of looking at it is that I desire to progress further on the spiritual path. Or, the card could represent Jeff Brooks, who is a great colleague, teacher, and friend for me in this spiritual work.
What you fear: Death
This year was horrible to many due to the Corona flu. And it was additionally horrible for me as I both lost my job and was exposed to a neurotoxin this year, the latter incapacitating me and my health for about five months.
I read “Death” here to mean a fear over the “death of the old life” before the transition to a new life. I also read it as fears over the future of work, and certainly the fear I would not recover from the neurological problems I developed from the poisoning. It is a fear of the death of one’s future and one’s possibilities – a horrible prospect.
What is going for you: The Moon
I have been developing a new female friendship in a slightly clandestine way, so this was one of the ways I would interpret this card. I would say it is a good omen for the relationship developing.
Another meaning I could find is it could refer to my own spiritual work, which in a sense is done in secret. Despite the setbacks this year, it could be a good omen that the work is in fact continuing and progress is being made.
What is going against you: The Wheel of Fortune
Absolutely. It has been a year of terrible fortune. Aside from the obvious Corona flu, my unemployment and my poisoning by the toxic fumes were certainly calamitous this year.
As Machiavelli said, ill fortune comes to all so we must always be prepared for when times go bad. At the same time, the wheel of fortune is swift to turn and events may change from ill to good again in time.
The likely outcome: The Empress
I take the Empress here as a symbol of fertility and fruitfulness; a good omen. I have been at work in creating a fund to help people with brain injuries: if this omen has its way, it will turn out well. I have also been trying to develop my painting skills: this bodes well for that too. It is a good omen for my discreet relationship with my female friend: that the relationship could bear fruit. And it is a good omen for health: that my health may recover yet, despite the terrible effects I suffered from for most of this year from the poisoning.
I wanted to set this Tarot reading - and how I interpreted the symbols - down in writing. As I think this is an example of how to do one and get a lot of value out of it: To look at the symbols, to try to unpack the many possible meanings, to see who one card might be or what situation it may apply to. Then, to extrapolate the possible outcomes the cards are suggesting, and to then use that to advise you on what to do in the future.
Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Dialogue - What do you think of omens?
Questioner: What do you think of omens?
Alexander wrote:
I first started to consider omens (arishta) seriously after reading the reference to them in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. There is a verse where Patanjali states something along the lines of, “by rightly discerning omens and signs, the yogi knows future events.” Given my great respect for Patanjali, I pondered this for a long time. I suppose you could say prior to this I was in the camp thinking that “only all those quaint ancient peoples believed in prophecies” and were superstitious.
So, I conducted it as an experiment. I just started to pay greater attention to the world around me – and look at what signs or omens were crossing my path in life. One way you can think of this is to pretend you are a character in a work of fiction. Sometimes the writer will insert an occurrence or an object that has a lot of significance later on. Well, I found real life sometimes does this as well.
At one point in my youth I was quite conflicted over sexuality, debating the idea imposed on us by the priests that we must remain sexually repressed, or there was something inherently wrong about sexuality. On one of my walks pondering this question, two large dragonflies flew in front of me engaged in some kind of mating dance. This was a very visceral moment, and ended up being the answer to the question I was asking. The natural world itself loudly affirmed the rectitude of sexuality; that sexuality was something great and to be embraced.
Another object that has taken on a recurring meaning for me is the ladybug. One of my first cars was the Volkswagen Beetle, itself a ladybug, which showed a strange correlation between me and the insect. I have to say that after many years I do often see ladybugs at very interesting transitional times in my life. The ladybug is sometimes called the “good luck bug,” and is a sign of auspicious events in different cultures. I remember rebuking one of my students one year who were going to smash a ladybug, that “those ladybugs bring good luck.” Often I will see the bug at particularly difficult times for me, and I interpret it as an affectionate sign from the cosmos to “keep the faith” and “stay strong.”
In my writing, for example in The King Will Ride Out, I use these types of omens to add depth to the story. For example, the raven is a current motif or omen in the work. Here, the raven represents either wisdom, ill omen, or the power of the Hunyadis – the ambiguity and multiple ways it can be understood being a key dimension to discerning omens in real life.
Dialogue - How would you define philosophy? Who is your favorite philosopher?
Alexander wrote:
I think at this point I have read every major philosopher. And, often when reading some of the more modern or obscure ones, like Heidegger, Sartre, or Hegel, I feel that the discipline has become too broad, has gotten off track, and has become too poorly defined.
If I had to choose a favorite it would mostly certainly be Socrates – followed closely behind by Plato. These two were the progenitors of the discipline, and in my opinion clearly defined what its goals are. So, if I were to define philosophy in a few words I would have to say it is something like the following.
1. Philosophy is the preparation for death
This is a great line of Socrates and the whole purpose of the discipline. The philosopher is aware of the reality of his end, and seeks wisdom, knowledge, and self-transcendence in anticipation of the death of the body.
2. The philosopher seeks wisdom
The word itself means philos (love) + sophos (wisdom), the love of wisdom. The philosopher seeks what is the most difficult and elusive virtue to obtain. The world we live in is corrupt, morally complex, and complicated and that is why wisdom is so central to acquire. Wisdom takes on many different forms, and one can have wisdom in one area but none in another. The general lack of wisdom in man in general, and the difficulty we face in acquiring wisdom, is certainly one of the reasons why the world is such a corrupt and dysfunctional place to live in.
3. The philosopher seeks the true, good, and beautiful
A philosopher would ponder the question of Pilate in the Bible, “Quid est veritas?” or “What is truth?” He would seek the highest goods available to him, and the highest versions of them he could attain. He would seek the beautiful – for example in a beautiful woman – but then realize he was also attracted to something else, the idea of beauty itself.
4. The philosopher seeks the perfect; he seeks the higher forms of things
Socrates goes through a line of reasoning in one of the dialogues. The philosopher first sees a beautiful woman and loves her, then contemplates the concept of love itself and questions where it arises from. This line of reasoning leads him to realize all the concepts used to organize the physical world derive from a higher space. For example, we have womanhood, manhood, truth, beauty, and so forth. All these ideas exist in specific instances in the physical world, but the concepts in an absolute sense exist somewhere else. Thus, the physical world is like a shadow version of a higher world. The world we inhabit is a corrupt, imperfect, imitation world created by emanations from a higher plane. Thus, the philosopher seeks to transcend the physical world, where he can never find perfect truth or beauty, and return to the nonphysical, where such things are in fact possible to attain.
5. The cave and the quest
The Allegory of the Cave is the central work of Plato’s writing and communicates the goal of philosopher. Man is imprisoned in a state of darkness or ignorance, and through the philosophic life he can break free. One can break his chains – perhaps the views of mass belief and delusion – and escape. First by seeing the light of truth, and then by following a hidden path, he reaches the outside world – true reality, the realm of the higher forms, the realm of liberation, the nonphysical domain.
6. Asceticism is a key part of philosophy
Socrates is very clear about this in the dialogues: that the work of the philosopher is to purify and prepare the soul. If we are fettered to the physical world by our selfishness, appetites, and weaknesses, we must work diligently to perfect ourselves as much as possible for our deaths. By purifying the soul, we remove the fetters that bind us to the corrupt physical world and allow ourselves to rise to the higher, more noble domains.
7. Philosophy is the answer to life’s central problems
The key problems to human life are suffering and death. It is impossible to avoid misfortune, pain, tragedy, and failure. It is also impossible to overcome death. We call these elements, along with the general fallibility of man, the “human condition.” Socrates is clear that the philosophic life is the heroic life; it is the path to self-conquest, redemption, and transcendence – to liberation and enlightenment.
8. Philosophy does possess a major esoteric element to it
Socrates and Plato were likely very inspired by the mystery schools that existed at their time, for example the schools of Orpheus and Dionysus. In fact, the Eleusinian mysteries, which were contemporary to the two, taught a cycle of “descent,” “search,” and “ascent,” which is fascinating as it parallels the mystic’s steps of purgation, illumination, and union. Socrates himself speculated on the practices of these schools in one of the dialogues. It is also likely Plato was inspired by the school of Pythagoras in Magna Graecia when he founded his Academy in Athens.
Wednesday, September 9, 2020
Alexandria
Hello all,
I am happy to release the first edition of Alexandria, which is a collection of my fiction and nonfiction writings, along with a number of dialogues I have had over the years. The work overall presents a cohesive philosophy, and explores spiritual, religious, and mystical topics we would all be familiar with here.
I was inspired to compile everything in one by Walt Whitman, who did the same in his work Leaves of Grass. My plan right now is to simply release newer editions of the collection throughout the years. One idea I have now, for instance, is to later amend it and include my paintings and art.
I've attached it free below, and I've also uploaded it on Lulu books and Smashwords. I may at some point go for a physical publication - but most likely not for some time. There is generally not much demand for books on mysticism, so my goal is just getting it available for those to whom a book like this is valuable.
Warm regards,
Alexander
Google Drive Link
https://drive.google.com/file/d/14YfctRY4D-CKqE9ajKQFgo1HbihBKuh5/view?usp=sharing
Dropbox
https://www.dropbox.com/s/uuggsprc5hj9jm9/Alexandria.pdf?dl=0
Thursday, August 13, 2020
Dream of a Dead Friend
A poster wrote:
So I have a friend who passed away back in 1997. About 5 years ago I dreamt about him visiting me in my room. I was having a casual conversation with him and the setting of my dream was really in my room. He even looked at my laptop and he told me how advance technology has become. He even looked at my family photos on the wall and asked me if those are my kids at the photo. The strange thing is the setting of my dream. It’s really in my room and the way my rooms looks is the same as in my dream. Did I AP and talked to my deceased friend? The other strange thing is I called his sister right after that and she told me it was his death anniversary. I didn’t even know that. So was that AP or something else?
Alexander wrote:
The dream world is sort of the lowest level of what turns into the nonphysical domain. Usually it’s just a bunch of random subconscious stuff from your day, but it’s also a place where the spiritual/nonphysical can interact with you as well.
There are a lot of accounts of people who lose a loved one then have a vivid dream of them that night where they are moving on. Could be worth a read! Might give you more confidence in what you experienced.
A poster replied:
Gotcha. The strange thing is he was not in my subconscious for years. When I called his sister and told her the story she said it’s his death anniversary which I do not know. He was also looking directly at my computer and he was amazed by the technology since he died in 97 and tech was not so advance then. He also looked the same as I remember him. He did not age. He died when he was 18. I’m not really that much of a Supernatural believer but this event has puzzled me for years now. It’s just too much coincidence for it to be just a regular dream.
Another poster replied:
Ya know, I used to work with this girl who was 19 then for a day at a
warehouse. She was sort of new at the place and she was so nice to be
around with. It was on a Friday. Then Monday rolled around and I noticed
people looked gloom. I had found out that Saturday morning there was
awful thunder storm and she was on her way to pet house sitting.
Apparently, she assumed she can get across the bridge which was flooded.
She got stuck and drowned. No one would able to helped her. Days after
that, Tiffany was her name came into my dream looking bright and happy.
She said " don't worry about me, I am okay" then she disappeared. I woke
up right away feeling better and strange because I was upset knowing
the fact we spend a day together before she died. So I decided to go up
to her bestfriend who works there to tell her because I had a gut
feeling that I should tell her. Eh...she looked at like I was fucking
nuts and sort of rude to me. I just let it go then and at least I told
her bestfriend. After that, I was feeling at peace with Tiffany.
Friday, August 7, 2020
Rougeleader - Post on Meditation Experience
Hello friends,
I come to you with a lot of joy in my heart. A
state I have experienced hundreds if not thousands of times dropped on
me so easily today I felt the need to explain. All i did was sit cross
legged. I focused my attention on the ringing I always have in my ears.
The bliss in my body steadily increased until my body was full and
bursting with bliss. The wind in the trees all around me and blowing on
my body, began to feel like it was blowing through my body. The sound of
the trees started to sound like they were echoing inside of me. And
then it dawned on me that all of these things were happening inside of
my awareness and no where else. Everything i could percieve inside and
outside of my body felt as though they were all in a single orb of my
awareness. It was so incredibly blissful and relaxing, and it felt like
the opening to a very deep level of meditation that I need to stay in
for hours a day. As i have said, i have had this experience very very
often, but this was just so easy and lucid, it feels so simple to access
now. It felt like all i did was to quiet my mind of thoughts by
focusing on an object of meditation , and sit with an intention of
wanting to sit quietly with my “god,lord,universal...” whatever you want
to say, i felt it as my lord, god, lover, and self. Everything else
happened very quickly and naturally. Continued relaxation with sustained
concentration on a meditation object. Best of luck my friends, I have
been diving as deep as I can.
Rougeleader
Sunday, July 26, 2020
Social Progress and Indian Belief
I have been feeling that Hinduism as a whole fails to address structural issues with our society, and that karma is often used to justify present conditions, like people are poor because they must have done something untoward in a past life. However, I am drawn towards the fact that Vira Shaivism started as a sect that railed against caste system and challenged the authority of the Vedas. Is there a group of Vira Shaivities who could help me learn about their ideas and customs?
Monday, June 29, 2020
The Death of God
“God is Dead.” (The Gay Science) - Nietzsche
What people think it means
This quote might be interpreted as a proclamation of atheism.
What it actually means
Nietzsche presented this phrase as being new information for a group of atheists. So it’s not just a statement about atheism.
In this section of The Gay Science, Nietzsche discusses how many of the underpinnings of Western society, particularly our moral philosophy, implicitly rely on the concept of God. With the rise of atheism, everything that was built on the Christian faith is destined to "collapse" (GS 343).
Is this correct?
~
Alexander wrote:
I do not see it as a statement of atheism, but as a “statement of facts.” Since at least the 1700s but certainly by Nietzsche’s time, Western civilization entered a period where the sense of the sacred or holy had been evacuated of its value.
Let me see if I can explain what this means. Think, for example, of an aboriginal tribe in Australia. Or, think of the North American natives. Or, the Eskimo. Or, a tribe in Africa. All these cultures have one thing in common: an intrinsic value of the sacred.
They may call their priest by different names: medicine man, shaman, mystic, alchemist, philosopher, magician, witch doctor, seer... but they all have him. And, he occupies a special place in society.
This person has (real or imagined) knowledge of spiritual matters. In Judeo-Christian civilization, these are the prophets, the intermediaries between man and the divine. All the populace reveres this figure, goes to him for guidance and counsel, and believes in him.
This is just one sense of the “sacred.” Another is, for instance, blasphemy. This is something we do all the time today but was quite serious in the past. I say “Jesus Christ!” when I hit my foot (because what else would we say!) but in prior times that would be considered disrespecting a sacred figure.
The concept there is basically some figures (Jesus, Mary, saints, etc) are in some way “other.” They are holy, that means you aren’t supposed to refer to them in the same way you do profane or worldly things.
One other thought I had is I feel Nietzshe is definitely referring to European culture when he says God is dead. Europe’s wars of religion and the shift they went through after that changed them forever. It is interesting because my African friends I know definitely take the idea of piety (even if that isn’t the word they use) way more seriously: for example, not making jokes about Jesus. And if you compare with Muslims, they certainly still have a pious or religious culture.
Nietzshe was absolutely correct in my opinion and ahead of his time. There were still churchgoers in his age but he knew the shift had occurred in the hearts of people. And, the proceeding centuries proved him right.
These days I see people going to church and I think, “oh, that’s so nice and quaint,” but many of the religious I meet I feel haven’t fully processed the modern condition.
The death
of God leads to a situation, according to Nietzshe, where we are left
without any real values or purpose. This is the condition of modern man
and what existentialism refers to. But, Nietzshe is very heroic about
this, and says don’t despair, this is a great opportunity! Now, you will
do like no other and create your own values!
Tuesday, June 23, 2020
Intelligence and Mysticism?
The point here is I stumbled across the deep meditation experience in my first year of taking up a contemplative life more than 40 years ago; whereas, most people who practice meditation never find the deep meditation experience. Thus, I believe it is reasonable to consider that possibly all of the people who stumble upon the deep meditation experience might be geniuses. So, it would be very useful if those posting their case histories here also posted their IQ, if you are comfortable with doing so.
An intelligence quotient, or IQ, is a score derived from one of several standardized tests designed to assess human intelligence...When current IQ tests are developed, the median raw score of the norming sample is defined as IQ 100 and scores each standard deviation (SD) up or down are defined as 15 IQ points greater or less...By this definition, approximately two-thirds of the population scores an IQ between 85 and 115, and about 5 percent of the population scores above 125...IQ scales are ordinally scaled.[32][33][34][35][36] While one standard deviation is 15 points, and two SDs are 30 points, and so on, this does not imply that mental ability is linearly related to IQ, such that IQ 50 means half the cognitive ability of IQ 100. In particular, IQ points are not percentage points...The correlation between IQ test results and achievement test results is about 0.7.2.1% of the population scores above 130, and 1% of the population scores above 140 and .1% of the population scores above 145.
Related concepts are genius and polymath.
A genius is a person who displays exceptional superior intellectual ability, creativity, or originality, typically to a degree that is associated with the achievement of new advances in a domain of knowledge. A scholar in many subjects or a scholar in a single subject may be referred to as a genius.[1] There is no scientifically precise definition of genius, and the question of whether the notion itself has any real meaning has long been a subject of debate, although psychologists are converging on a definition that emphasizes creativity and eminent achievement.
A polymath (Greek: πολυμαθής, polymathēs, "having learned much")[1] is a person whose expertise spans a significant number of different subject areas; such a person is known to draw on complex bodies of knowledge to solve specific problems. The term was first used in the seventeenth century; the related term, polyhistor, is an ancient term with similar meaning.[2]
The term is often used to describe great thinkers of the Renaissance and the Enlightenment who excelled at several fields in science and the arts. In the Italian Renaissance, the idea of the polymath was expressed by Leon Battista Alberti (1404–1472), in the statement that "a man can do all things if he will."[3] Embodying a basic tenet of Renaissance humanism that humans are limitless in their capacity for development, the concept led to the notion that people should embrace all knowledge and develop their capacities as fully as possible. This was expressed in the term "Renaissance man" which is often applied to the gifted people of that age who sought to develop their abilities in all areas of accomplishment: intellectual, artistic, social and physical. This term entered the lexicon during the twentieth century and has now been applied to great thinkers living before and after the Renaissance.
"Renaissance man" was first recorded in written English in the early 20th century.[4] It is now used to refer to great thinkers living before, during, or after the Renaissance. Leonardo da Vinci has often been described as the archetype of the Renaissance man, a man of "unquenchable curiosity" and "feverishly inventive imagination".[5]
Many notable polymaths lived during the Renaissance period, a cultural movement that spanned roughly the 14th through to the 17th century and that began in Italy in the late Middle Ages and later spread to the rest of Europe. These polymaths had a rounded approach to education that reflected the ideals of the humanists of the time. A gentleman or courtier of that era was expected to speak several languages, play a musical instrument, write poetry, and so on, thus fulfilling the Renaissance ideal. The idea of a universal education was essential to achieving polymath ability, hence the word university was used to describe a seat of learning. At this time universities did not specialize in specific areas but rather trained students in a broad array of science, philosophy, and theology. This universal education gave them a grounding from which they could continue into apprenticeship toward becoming a Master of a specific field.
I remember growing up, panegalli, intuitively understanding the premises of mysticism. I would be in the classroom and think to myself, "this is all pretend right?" or "this is like Plato said, we're in the shadow world or the false world, this isn't reality itself" or "as above, so below; just like we can play a virtual reality computer game, so too my existence in this body is the same."
I was constantly trying to find someone who perceived things in the way I did (I particularly hoped for an attractive young lady to think the same haha) but I found no one shared my views.
I remember when I studied philosophy in college, how far it went off-topic. In an academic setting I don't even know what "philosophy" means. Plato and Socrates were very clear philosophy was a preparation for death, that philosophy purified and elevated the soul, and that the goal of the philosopher was to separate from the corrupt body and to return to Reality.
And don't get me started about religious people haha. It is interesting how universal religion is, that it is inherently human to value it and have a sense of the spiritual. But how it is interpreted is amazing.
I find the symbolism of Christianity very heroic myself. Of Christ, the god-man and Crucified One (as Teresa called him), calling the Christian to forsake the body and embrace the life of the spirit. Yet this call isn't followed by any Christian I know. Particularly here in America Christians are so far removed from the life-negation and self-transcendence of Christ it is astonishing. They do none of the aid to the poor, sick, alienated or imprisoned. I expect most of these Christians will find themselves making their way right back here again.
So, I definitely get what Jeff is getting at when he says "IQ." It is certainly a faculty of intelligence to value these topics and come here. And, the fact your Inner Director brought you here is evidence you have what Jeff describes.
Wednesday, June 3, 2020
Discussion on the Bible
The Gospels were all written at least 50 years after Christ (Mark) to 100 years after him (John).
We think the Gospels are inspired by works we have since lost. The most famous is the "Quelle" or Q source (Quelle means source in German), which is supposed to be a list of sayings of Jesus.
Basically what Bible scholars do is they read each text meticulously, line by line, then they compare what is similar and different between each. Doing this - it is pretty ingenious - they are able to reverse engineer earlier texts and even figure out what percentage of each text comes from each earlier work. We started doing this in the 1800s and it's persisted to present day Bible scholarship.
The other early work (other than Q) is Mark. Basically we think Matthew and Luke used Mark (the earliest Gospel) and Quelle as sources.
The first three Gospels are called "synoptic," meaning they have roughly the same presentation of the Jesus story.
The last Gospel, John, is considered anomalous so it gets its own category. It doesn't have the same sources as the others and Jesus goes on long, philosophical sermons in it which he doesn't in the others.
We call the authors of the Gospels the evangelists.
In the New Testament, Matthew was placed first because originally we thought it was the earliest Gospel. This conclusion came from its (mostly Jewish-oriented) perspective. More recently scholarship has accurately found Mark was the earliest, using the reverse engineering method I mentioned.
There is some division over how you can interpret each Gospel but I usually present it to my students as the following:
Matthew - The "Jewish" perspective on Jesus
Christianity was originally a sect of Judaism, so Matthew is often more concerned with interpreting Christ's teachings in relation to Jewish law and tradition. Matthew is also the only Gospel written in Aramaic, not Greek.
Luke - The "Gentile" (or Greek) perspective on Jesus
As time proceeded, Christianity began to attract adherents who were non-Jews (Gentiles) - mostly people from the Hellenic world - but there was much resistance to this as it was originally a Jewish sect. Luke's view is often focused on interpreting Christ to make it more accessible to non-Jews.
The next two are my views of the other Gospels and how I usually teach them (I like to keep it simple and clear), but just know you could dispute these and interpret them differently:
Mark - Emphasis on the "Humanity" of Jesus
As you know the Christian view of Christ says he has a dual nature, both human and divine. I base this reading mostly on the very interesting conclusion to Mark - the resurrection. The resurrection is left ambiguous in the original version of Mark. Jesus does not reappear to the disciples or overtly demonstrate his risen form. This Gospel also focuses on the "mystery" of who Jesus is. It is accepted he is a prophet, and he demonstrates miracles throughout, but it is unclear who he is.
John - Emphasis on the "Divinity" of Jesus
And this is how I usually frame John: as one in which the divinity of Christ is accepted - there is no "mystery" like in Mark. Focus on his godhood rather than his humanity. For example, he begins as a divine "Logos" which preexisted.
Getting back to your question - you raise a very interesting point about the unique situation in which there are four different accounts of effectively the same narrative in Christianity.
The Gospels do offer different versions of events, tweak the exact things said by Christ, and contradict each other at different points.
While in earlier epochs you might run into the danger of being accused of heresy, I feel it enriches the religion greatly and opens it up to many different analyses and lenses.
Perhaps it is also not the point we are supposed to get the exact version of what happened, but rather understand the overall synthesis or theme of Jesus' teaching.
Wednesday, May 27, 2020
Saved Spring Conversations
I experience what I call the Inner Director as a kind of inner voice that speaks to me now and then. It’s a super elusive and hard to pin down thing, and even now it’s still ambiguous when I’m interpreting it correctly and if I’m being sure I’m not just talking to myself.
Keep in mind I’m saying “voice” but 99% of the time it isn’t an actual voice. It’s more like an intuition or revelation that comes from within, and it feels different / distinct from my usual inner monologue.
This is definitely something possible to us all, but I think requires years of work, self-criticism, and opening oneself up to this influence. The fact it is so quiet, so elusive, and so hard to distinguish from your own thoughts makes it a rare phenomenon.
Sometimes it manifests as an inner “push” to do something, or a pull not to do something. Other times it will actually vocalize a clear comment / idea. For example after working for my boss very ably for 4 years I received a terrible performance review and felt absolutely awful. This is one of the times I’m relatively confident the Inner Director said something, the simple statement “it’s not going to matter.”
I have to be honest, it’s really not there for me a lot of the time. I will ask it for help or guidance at other times and it will say nothing. It will (apparently) mislead me or lead me to do things that cause suffering. It lets me founder or not have clear direction on what I should do. It seems very random the times I hear it. I assume this is connected is some way to fate / destiny, that even those bad things and the sense of being lost are a part of one’s path.
You may want to read Teresa of Avila’s Inner Castle for more info. I think it is the section on auditions (I forget the exact term she uses). It is common for the mystics of history to experience these things, and they generally rely on their inner voices to guide them. I also think of Socrates’ daimonion which he alluded to at his trial.
If you read the Spanish mystics, they generally counsel that the further the experience is from an actual vision or voice, the better. So, for them the most real experience is one of an intuition. No real verbalization at all.
I don’t know if that source is a spirit guide, a number (ie multiple) of helpers in the nonphysical, or if it is “you”: your higher self. For me I just call it the Inner Director and know that it is the best counselor to follow.
There is a section on this in Evelyn Underhill’s Mysticism. Also, I agree with the person who discussed automatic writing. That is one way that Inner Director manifests for sure. As an artist, IMO the best creative basis is relying on those inspirations that come from that source. The Greeks called it the muses, and it probably plays a role in all great art.
~
Reincarnation
A poster wrote:
There are so many reincarnation theories and how karma works. It is so confusing! Which is closest to the truth? How does karma work? Which mistakes or sins respectively lead to punishments like physical defects, mental deseases, autism, discrimination, poverty etc?
~
Alexander (Shivaswara) wrote:
I have read everything on the topic over the years, so you might want to read: Plato, the Buddhist sutras, Brian Weiss, Bob Monroe, William Buhlman, the Bhagavad Gita, PD Ouspensky, Ian Stevenson...
Having pondered it for years I don’t think I can give you full clarity. I do certainly believe in reincarnation and believe that we are nonphysical beings that at some point chose to descend here. I think birth brings amnesia with it, and due to that we forget our true spiritual nature, identify falsely with form and matter, and get stuck here.
In regard to karma, I think it’s complex. I think seeing it all as punishment / reward is too simple: but in some cases that is correct. If you smoke, yes you will destroy your lungs. If you commit a murder, it may take 10 or 30 years but eventually you will be punished. There is karma in those ways.
But, karma is also delayed. That makes the world so complicated, where the righteous suffer and the evil prosper. Perhaps you will reap the fruit of your actions in the next life and not in this one. Or, perhaps your actions may catch up with you in 20 years.
The Hindus think if you are well intentioned you are born beautiful and if you are malicious you are born ugly. They think the charitable become wealthy and thieves cast themselves into poverty. They think those who value learning become wise and those who disparage learning become stupid. I remember the line in the Gita where Krishna says “wise souls incarnate in wise wombs and stupid souls in the wombs of fools.” I used to work in the ghetto and (while definitely there are good people there!) the constant shiftless, scheming, lying, stealing, violent ways of the people I met made me feel fate was putting them together for a reason.
In some places in Asia they lack sympathy for the sick / afflicted due to the belief in karma. As I think about that I do much prefer the western sympathy for the ill / suffering as being innocent and think that’s the wiser POV.
I think that both free will and destiny are correct. Perhaps fate may put you into a situation, and then it becomes your choice what you do there. It would be a rather unimpressive cosmos without the existence of either.
Karma I think is an educative force... but there is / can also be some aspect of personal agency in it. For example you may choose to take on the form of an injured person even if that is not necessarily your karma / punishment.
In a lot of ways I also believe in what Job said, that God makes the righteous suffer to no end. It is a very complex world... I don’t know if I helped, haha. :)
~
Reincarnation in the Aeneid
A poster wrote:
"And now Aeneas saw a secluded grove in a receding valley, with rustling woodland thickets, and the river of Lethe gliding past those peaceful places. Innumerable tribes and peoples hovered round it: just as, in the meadows, on a cloudless summer’s day, the bees settle on the multifarious flowers, and stream round the bright lilies, and all the fields hum with their buzzing. Aeneas was thrilled by the sudden sight, and, in ignorance, asked the cause: what the river is in the distance, who the men are crowding the banks in such numbers. Then his father Anchises answered: They are spirits, owed a second body by destiny, and they drink the happy waters, and a last forgetting, at Lethe’s stream. Indeed, for a long time I’ve wished to tell you of them, and show you them face to face, to enumerate my children’s descendants, so you might joy with me more at finding Italy. O father, is it to be thought that any spirits go from here to the sky above, returning again to dull matter?’ ‘Indeed I’ll tell you, son, not keep you in doubt,’ Anchises answered, and revealed each thing in order.
THE TRANSMIGRATION OF SOULS
‘Firstly, a spirit within them nourishes the sky and earth, the watery plains, the shining orb of the moon, and Titan’s star, and Mind, flowing through matter, vivifies the whole mass, and mingles with its vast frame. From it come the species of man and beast, and winged lives, and the monsters the sea contains beneath its marbled waves. The power of those seeds is fiery, and their origin divine, so long as harmful matter doesn’t impede them and terrestrial bodies and mortal limbs don’t dull them. Through those they fear and desire, and grieve and joy, and enclosed in night and a dark dungeon, can’t see the light. Why, when life leaves them at the final hour, still all of the evil, all the plagues of the flesh, alas, have not completely vanished, and many things, long hardened deep within, must of necessity be ingrained, in strange ways. So they are scourged by torments, and pay the price for former sins: some are hung, stretched out, to the hollow winds, the taint of wickedness is cleansed for others in vast gulfs, or burned away with fire: each spirit suffers its own: then we are sent through wide Elysium, and we few stay in the joyous fields, for a length of days, till the cycle of time, complete, removes the hardened stain, and leaves pure ethereal thought, and the brightness of natural air. All these others the god calls in a great crowd to the river Lethe, after they have turned the wheel for a thousand years, so that, truly forgetting, they can revisit the vault above, and begin with a desire to return to the flesh.’
~
Alexander (Shivaswara) wrote:
Socrates / Plato refer to this same topic IIRC (the Lethe). Thanks for this share for sure. I knew Aeneas went to the underworld, but never knew of this reference in Virgil.
It shows that even in the Western world (the world not influenced by Buddhism / Hinduism), the concept of reincarnation was out there and accessible.
The problem of the Lethe is definitely the biggest one for reincarnation. You forget everything - all your past knowledge / experience - when you take on a human form. It's amnesia.
If we have been returning over and over again across the ages, Socrates was correct in saying all learning is remembering (anamnesis), since we have had all knowledge at some prior point in time.
The disease, aging, and pain of the human condition make incarnation here very questionable, though. Certainly there is much to learn from the difficulty of the human experience: and there is definitely heroism in a human birth, sure, if you can overcome all that adversity and still manage to accomplish something. But I think I prefer the nonphysical domain myself.
~
A poster replied:
I believe adversity is why we are here. Our souls crave stories. Without adversity, there is no story.
~
Another poster replied:
The soul doesn’t take adversity here particularly seriously. More like a night out to a scary movie or a roller coaster.
~
Possible Vietnam Incarnation
A poster wrote:
Oh god I'm suffering right now as I write this. I wanted this to be a dream, a bad nightmare my brain invented. But it's not. I remember my past life. Very clearly and it gets clearer with each passing day. At first it was just glimpses of trees and running. A jungle of some sort. But then I started seeing people. And it turns out I was a very bad person. I distinctly remember being an American soldier during the Vietnam War. I remember committing heinous acts during the war in the name of democracy. Terrible things to men, women and children. It sickens me to my core but I remember these things. You can say this is me just making things up or whatever, but the only thing I can't remember is my name. This of course prevents me from verifying anything. I just have all this regret built up inside. I don't know how I was ever this person, but goddamn does it hurt. I'm so sorry to the descendants of everyone I killed.
~
Alexander (Shivaswara) wrote:
If it is true - and verifying would be rough - remember we get that amnesia at birth for a reason. This is a new life, a clean start. Penance and charity don’t hurt if you feel you should. But this is also a life to now be pacific and pure.
That war was one of the most horrible in human history. Everyone today knows it was a tragedy in every capacity. Wrong intentions, misunderstanding, slaughtering and killing. The suffering of the Vietnamese people, and all those young Americans sent to the other side of the world. And you are told you’re there for democracy and freedom: young, ignorant, and impressionable in your 18s and 20s, emotionally disturbed due to the training for war - you can’t take complete accountability for it all. The politicians who sent the sons there deserve blame as well.
And - look at what happened to Vietnam after. One of the bloodiest conflicts of all time, only for the GDP of Vietnam to go from ~5000 to ~500 dollars under communist economic control. The genocide in Cambodia next door. Now, today America and Vietnam realize we should be friends. This is the world...
~
Brain Injury
A poster wrote:
I hope everyone is doing well. I want to first apologize for the long-winded post, but I want to lay out all of the details.
For about 5 years now, I have been suffering from somewhat debilitating issues originating from (what I believe were) multiple traumas to my head over the years, leading up to the present day. I believe my brain is damaged and, and every further insult I receive to my head brings on symptoms and anxiety.
Whenever some motion of any degree occurs with my head, I usually begin to worry and I begin to experience manifestations of damage like headache, fogginess, and general malaise. Those are typically the extent of my symptoms. These occurrences can range from me hitting a pothole on the road, (which causes my head to move up or down, forward or back) to my over-ear headphones being suddenly jerked on my head due to it getting caught on something. I don't know if my brain is just more susceptible to damage now, or if this completely made up.
Over the majority of my life, I have experienced odd and intermittent issues such as having trouble breathing, eating, and swallowing. These afflictions, however, have never coincided, and they suddenly stopped being issues one day ( I don't remember why or how). More recently, in the past 5 to 6 years, I have been battling with depression and anxiety. Generally, I get anxious about health-related issues and become depressed in return. (I simply feel damaged an unable to live a fulfilling life) When I reflect on these problems that I experienced, I begin to see how it could possibly be psychosomatic in nature, but the other side of me believes that a brain trauma that occurred when I was young could have caused all of these problems.
The most traumatic incident involving me hitting my head happened when I was about 12 or 13. ( I am 23 now) I was pogo-sticking over concrete and slipped backward and hit the back of my head. Thankfully, I 100% remember where I was what happened before and after, and I never lost consciousness. However, I believe this trauma was the catalyst for all of my problems, cognitively and emotionally. Cognitively, with issues like my sleeping, swallowing, and breathing. And further down the road, the emotional issues of depression and anxiety. My parents tell me that It was nothing major, but that's not how I remember it. I am fortunate to have a caring and attentive family, but unfortunately, they believe everything that I experience is all in my head.
Currently, my family and I are trying to get in touch with a neuro-psychiatrist in order to try and put this whole fiasco to rest.
I would like to add that I have played only a singular season of wrestling ever, and never participated in additional contact sports on top of that. Additionally, I never lost consciousness once during any of these incidents, and I have a complete recollection (painfully so) of every event. The worst that has happened was seeing a momentary flash of light during two separate experiences of trauma involving the back of the head (One was the pogo stick incident). Also, whenever I fixate on my injuries the symptoms seem to become more intense. And wherever I was hit on the head is where the pain occurs and radiates from. I have never been diagnosed with any form of brain trauma, but nor have I ever received a scan to check for one. Furthermore, I am also a recent college graduate (January) with a pretty decent white-collar job, so these issues of mine aren't entirely debilitating.
Any and all responses are appreciated!
~
Alexander (Shivaswara) wrote:
You should probably go to the doctor and see what he says. I’m not sure what would show up on an MRI or not. Or, if there’s some other way to figure it out. It does sound like it could have been a “you hit your head, nbd” from your family but you had a TBI all those years.
But, I actually relate to your post a lot. Back in late March I was exposed to a neurotoxin, and I’ve had weird symptoms like you since then. Headache, can’t think clearly, can’t sleep for more than 1 hr, weird depressive/anxiety stuff, heart rate issues, and vibrations in my nervous system. My GP and neuro didn’t think it was the brain, but I’m going for an MRI Monday. It’s rough because the symptoms of brain injury overlap with other causes.
~
The poster replied:
Let's hope both of our brains turn out to be fine. Thank you for your opinion.
~
Alexander replied:
Hahaha yeah you too man. Had to upvote all the posts in here, it’s a scary thing.
~
The poster replied:
Very frightening. To think that the organ which controls everything that we are and do, could be damaged. It gives me great existential worry, and causes me to feel detached from myself.
~
Alexander replied:
Yeah I’ve had the past 2 months to think about it and I’ve half reached the stage now of “well, if this is what the cosmos wanted to happen it’s what happened.”
I don’t know if you have any spiritual or metaphysical beliefs. Certainly a brain injury is up there in terms of putting human life on hard mode. But, I also feel it’s an extremely heroic act to suffer it and to live as strongly and nobly as you can anyway. And, in truth to do so means you are stronger and greater than someone without the disability. And, even if you make compromises and live a humbler life, you are really exceeding all those high achievers by suffering this. Something to think about!
~
The poster replied:
Thanks alot for the encouragement. Truthfully, I am not a believer in religion. But if I was given enough of a reason to believe in a higher being, I would be all for it. It would be a comforting to know there is another level of existence, with a god in control of it all. Although since I fail to see any convincing evidence, I do believe everything that I am exists within my skull....
I also have much respect to TBI survivors who choose to fight on instead of giving in. Shows extreme mental fortitude and will.
Saturday, April 25, 2020
Discussion with ro2778 (Why do we reincarnate?)
Once you’re dead, what compels reincarnation (being born as a human again)? I can’t see any positive to it (given aging, sickness, death, and the amnesia that happens when you’re born). Thanks for any insight.
If I think, why am I here, when I was infinity? Well, probably because I can be. Within infinity there is everything, so necessarily, I have experienced everything. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. If I simplify it, I'm here to guide, I am a spiritual teacher, while also growing myself. It's almost certain that everyone is here to grow spiritually, but we will also have our own life plans, and specific lessons that we are seeking from this experience.
Right, onto your question!
What compels reincarnation is the same thing that compels your beliefs in this world... culture. What is culture? It is the combination of knowledge and beliefs of society. The big message is, culture is controlled by authorities, be they the scientific establishment, the education syllabus creators, the religions, the media (huge one), hollywood, corporate management etc.. At the top of the pyramid are the global elite and they have their fingers in all these pies, controlling the message. What most people don't understand, because they have no knowledge of a life beyond death, or they have no certainty about it, is that the after life is also controlled. Souls who believe in science, go to the astral university district, souls who believe in buddhism go to the monestary district, souls who believe in christianity go to the heavan district. In these districts they meet like minded souls and they create that reality together, through ideas they learned in their life, as well as ideas they have in the after life. They share knowledge in their echo chambers and co-create that reality together. Check this out to see "the structure of the astral plane" and realise these are all levels of manipulation: https://youtu.be/2Hze7nIObJc
Okay... then why do they reincarnate? Why do you do anything? Why do you go to the doctor when you are sick, why do you join facebook and post messages of your cat, why do you believe in God, why do you believe Buddhism is correct, why are you a patriot, why are you pro choice or pro life? Most of the things we believe, follow the same basic premise...
We are convinced of some truth and we exercise our free will and make that choice. This is the key point here, none of these systems stop you from exercising your free will. Free will is a universal law. However, these systems have manipulated you into using your free will to make the choice they want you to make. So you reincarnate because it is suggested in the after life and then you agree to it. That process can be personal to you. Perhaps some "angel" comes down and suggests that you should go back to Earth to be a missionary, or you should go back because you sinned too much and need to make amends, perhaps you enter a council where some board reviews you life and it is just suggested to you that now you need to have a new life with a new lesson plan. Whatever the reason, fundamentally it is suggested to you in some way and you exercise you free will and agree to it. Then you probably choose a life, set up a life plan and go and do it.
If you didn't reincarnate on Earth you will still choose to reincarnate somewhere eventually. Eventually you would get bored of being an infinite being, all knowing etcetera. You would think, wouldn't it be interesting to go to that planet and have that experience? I clearly thought this would be interesting, so here I am, despite the amnesia, despite the suffering, despite the death (which is just a transition to a different form of existence). We are infinite beings, so it's all part of infinity anyway.
Check this out you might like it, it's good to be light hearted about this stuff at the same time!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kD-kAw7gc4&
Friday, March 13, 2020
Dialogue with Rougeleader
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Rougeleader wrote:
I noticed the forum has been very quiet. I hope everyone is okay and just lurking around time to time. Times are not looking too good in the world right now. I hope things end up being okay but I cant help but feel like i needed to say the generally feeling of doom in the air feels thicker than normal.
Today though after mediation while on a walk, i just felt like my awareness was touching a large outer aura around me. Feels like an arua almost touching the sky and a large space around the edges of my of my body feel entirely consumed in bliss and love. I feel like it is always simply a case now of relaxing my body and mind, and my awareness just relaxes from being constrained in my body, to washing away in everdeepening layers of bliss. It truly is a saturation or dissolving kind of action. What is "solid" and "real" are only layers and layers of intangible things. Things that readily dissolve back into the ether of life. I just hope that i truly can/have dissolved myself enough before I die of whatever so that I can truly be free.
Best Wishes,
Rougeleader
I confess I have not been meditating. I honestly do not enjoy meditating, and I have never experienced any remarkable results from it. I also confess I have not been following through on my self-inquiry (24/7 practice) either, as I did that for years with no results. It seems I am at a spiritual standstill.
I generally defer to the Inner Director on what actions I should take, but it does not compel me to do anything. It did tell me last year that it was time I "go my own way" and that I had become my own authority, which I did take to heart. It also pushed me to read all these works by OOBE writers, including William Buhlman, which I admit has been worth the time. But, while I am certain I will not be returning here again, at the same time if the end of this life was to make great spiritual progress I am not very impressed with myself.
I confess I have been getting more incredulous about the claims of mystics. I have been shifting more toward the OOBE perspective in my views. I have no frame of reference for the altered state of consciousness you describe so I don't really know what to believe. So, I have just continued in the experience of the mundane, approaching this life's ills as best a human can. I will likely resume my practice again - but when I feel less discouraged.
Would you say the experience you had that afternoon was a concrete real experience? Do you experience these states when you meditate? Do you experience them 24/7? Do you enjoy sitting there for 1-2 hours? Perhaps you can give me a recommendation for my practice.
I thank you for your response to my post. I am sorry to hear your practice is still not giving you the succor you need for this life. I will state again how much I still believe you should be most capable with how deep your understanding of the contemplative life is. I do not mean to dismiss your troubles i just mean i feel you certainly could attain it with your understanding and feelings on nondualism.
I will say that it is absolutely a concrete experiences that I am trying to express. I am sorry if it comes of unnecessarily poetic or dramatic, but it is because the experience truly is so. Even typing this now, my ears are ringing loudly resonating perfectly with the bliss/energy/tacticle tingles thats i feel throughout my whole body, and especially strong in my third eye, throat, heart, and top of my head. So be it that people call those places chakras. I dont believe anything ive been taught about them or read online, but i cant deny the experience of extreme tingling tactile bliss any more than i can the other sensations that happen in my body. They are there, i wish i had a better way to express to you.
I have taken mushrooms and LSD and I can say without question that the vibrations and energy that I have felt in my body of those drugs were like lesser versions of what I feel now. The same is for marijuana and edible marijuana. I get to similar places, but with much less control and lucidity, and much more side effects. I really mean less than similar, Jeffrey is right to say meditation is like like a rolls royce to the garbage can that drugs usually are. There is a true personal and soul bonding experience when what you go through is more intense and engaging than anything you have ever experienced while not being caused by any thing or drug, but you submitting fully as a whole entity inner and outer. After about a year it had become a 24/7 experience for me. It has always been a case of whether I was consistent, and more importantly internally submitting. I couldnt out discipline my internal ability to submit, it is very scary to submit to what literally feels like infinite levels of bliss and energy available all the time. As long as i submit consistently and fully, the bliss has always been at deeper levels than say the last mediation or the week before. It is actually ever deepening. It has been about 9 years now since I began. I have always had very lucid dreams since i was a child but I felt like an empty shell casing with nothing but depression anxiety and anger for the second decade of my life. And since about 4 years ago i have felt entirely entranced and over taken with the bliss and out of body experiences to the point that i feel like salt dissolving away. It is second nature now to submit and let go, even when it is absolutely overwhelming and kind of scary. Like Jeffrey saying and stone worn to sand, and other mystics ways of expressing that.
If i am focused on life and ita troubles and etc. I cannot let go fully and have to attend to relieving and relaxing my tensions whether physical, mental, external problems. So in a sense like the Christians i see how everything is on me to let go and give myself up. Because gods infinite love is always there and readily available to feel and experience in this life. Maybe not in its infinite form all the time and only here and there out of body. But the blissful waves and surrounding ether are literally always available to any awareness that can relax and tune in to those deep layers of bliss and love. And i promise you it is not metaphorical. It literally feels like the most pure and unconditional love and infinite energy that you could ever imagine. And you can truly die once you know what that experience can feel like. My whole life has become dedicated to it simply from the first experience and no one ever needed to tell me anything. Every way I try to exress it are my own words and attempt with terrible vocabulary to say what many mystics say better.
Im going to stop here because I know I am overtyping, but the passion I feel for people to experience this, especially people like you, is strong. If you have any other questions or even critizism to what Ive said please dont hesitate. I wont be offended whatever you say, I honestly just want to help if I can.
Rougeleader
I stopped dissolving into to nothingness and started dissovling into love. My heart and soul have started soaring ever since.